I am wearing a size small shirt today!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you believe it?!!!!! ... OK so its one of those big small shirts, but still I am actually a medium!!!! and that is the first time that has ever happened! It feels really good when people see me and they can't recognize me or they tell me "Every time I see you it's like seeing a whole different person", and that's because I am a whole different person. It feels amazing to know that I have changed in so many ways and stayed the same in much others.

This is a little funny so I am going to share it with you guys...I uploaded this picture of me on Facebook and these are some comments:

Friend 1: "it just got hotter over here in ... cuz this showed up on my feed at .... woop!"
Friend 2: "guesss what i'm doing?"
Me: "Tearing up? :)" (this friend tears every time she sees me because she's so proud and yet sentimental)
Friend 2: "yes but i liked you better when you were jennifer hudson. now you are j.lo."
Me: "That's a lie. I'm still Jennifer. Besides she's skinny now too :)"
Friend 2: "you will never be jennifer, again. she was loved as who she came out as. now, she looks like everyone else. just dont get faded. love the eyes! those will never change"
LOL


I am SUPER EXCITED about how things are fairing out:

1. I am NOT having the Mental Breakdowns anymore!!! (At least not related to my body) I was going to go to a Psychologist but the ones that I spoke to were either too old and creepy so I didn't feel comfortable at all, or just couldn't relate with what was going on with me. ( I looked for ones that my health insurance would cover...it's official, I need new health insurance or just better Psychologists on the one I already have). SO, I went to my school's counseling center and the Psychologist I spoke to helped. She told me that according to her research with people that have had my operation, these kinds of outbursts were sometimes normal in people with my personality.

It is true I can be super difficult whenever I do not want to be cooperative and also I can be very in-denial when I want to be. And in this case I really didn't want to admit I was having a hard time. SO, I feel better, MUCH better. I don't look at myself with disgust anymore and that helps a lot.

2. I weighed myself this morning, and unless my treacherous weight scale was playing games on me, I am around 155-156 pounds, a size 10 (well fit). Soon i'll keep going to 150 and hopefully size 8 and then, the size that i really want to be, a 6.

3. Soon I will be starting Insanity, the dancing version of the program. I haven't started it yet because I am in the middle of taking my grad school admissions examinations and working but I still drink my shake and eat as healthy as possible.

4. My hormones are normal now, or at least in the process or being stabilized. My doctor said that because of my excessive weight gain I had excess amounts of Testosterone in my body which I didn't need so she prescribed birth control with extra estrogen and that has gone fairly well.

For now, I am just enjoying the fact that I feel so much better about myself not because I was ugly before and I'm pretty now, but because I'm healthy now. I've always known I was pretty I just didn't feel pretty or healthy. Here are a few pics...enjoy.

 A pic of me in 2010 at 220 pounds 

 me at 2010 pounds 

 2011 somewhere between 210 and 220

 me at 240 pounds.... MY WORST...never again 

AND ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

What do you guys think?!! Nice huh? hehehe.. I felt really good :) !

This morning I weighed 161 pounds. I am officially battling between a size 10 and a size 8 (which FYI ... ITS AMAZING!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!! ) Summer in DR was the salvation of my nerves and, lets face it, TOO much fun!!!! 

I did NOT want to come back... but reality hits sooner or later. Although, honestly, one more week wouldn't have hurt. 

Its funny how i feel so different yet i feel the same!. At this stage, I can officially eat anything I want expect... I dont want to... or need to. My cousins and my little sister make fun of me because I'm OBSESSED with calories and sugars and protein and not eating this or that. Up until now, it's worked for me. 

Despite all that, I still have these odd mood swings that every once in a while, more often than i'd like to admit, I feel bad and my self esteem plummets and I HATE IT because THAT IS NOT ME! I hate feeling as though I'm not enough. And for some odd reason that is exactly how I feel. I feel as if i'm not enough and i don't like it. All my life I have been more than enough in everything and now... it just feels really bad. 

This thursday I have an appointment with my doctor to check my vitamins and levels and get a referral for the psychologist. Wish me luck :)  

July 1st Blog!

Dear Reader,

Well, I officially wight 169 pounds. My body is getting curvier and more slender by the minute. I haven't lost as much weight as i thought i would by now but my doctor says everything is fine and we are doing good time.

I saw him yesterday and he told me that not everyone has the same results and that this process is a long term goal weight loss process. Now is the time for Trainer help at the gym to focus on given areas of my body and renforce my gym techniques. This should be interesting.

When it comes to how i feel personally...well, thats a complicated situation. I feel the same. Mentally, I feel as if I am still 240 pounds, my same chubby self. Yet physically, i feel so much lighter, so much less heavy and as if a huge weight has been lifter off my whole body. I walk better in my heels- I have a lot of heels, very high ones- i feel better in my clothes and when people see me they can't get over how good I look. They just keep staring. And the men, well, they through kisses at me in the streets and yell pretty things at me and ask God to bless me.

This is not something I'm used to. I always saw it happen to my cousins and my sisters- which are all very pretty, not to say that I am not- but i've just never been the center of men's  attentions before. Its rather nice.

One thing that has me worried is that sometimes I feel down out-of-the-blue, for no reason at all, and I don't understand why. My mother and sisters have suggested I see a Psychologist to help me through the random whims of my moods. SO, when i get back from DR- I am here for vacation- I am to see a Psychologist.

While I'm here, I will also visit my bariatric nutritionist and have her review my diet. Last time she gave me a general diet for the second, third and fourth month of my process. This time I want her to give me a more specific diet for my present situation. Well folks thats all for now.

Soon I will be posting pics :-)
The Gastric Sleeve Patient

Before and AFTER pics!!

BEFORE FACE

AFTER FACE...

BEFORE BODY 

AFTER BODY PIC 

58 punds away!!! and hopefully 30 more to go!

Hello everyone! First, I'd like to apologize for not posting recently. My dissertation has me utterly frustrated and ridiculously tired. Second, GOOD NEWS!!!! I have officially crossed over to the 170's!!!! WOW!! I can't believe it myself! Last, time I was in the 170's I was 12 years old and it was after 4 months of an incredibly rigorous diet which started with me at 193 pounds. This time, however, 4 months ago, I started at a hairpin away from 240 pounds and now i'm 179 pounds!

I am officially a size 12 again !!!!

For the first time in my life it feels fantastic to actually get on a scale and weigh myself!

My body is looking great! Despite the fact that I have always been chubby, I have always had curves. Some might say my body is somewhat of a pear shape or maybe an hourglass (it depends on which who you ask and how they feel about the size of my bosom). My body has never lacked curves in the right places, thank God!  The gym is a regular thing for me, and now I am going to start drinking collagen supplements at night before going to bed so my body can absorb it more effectively (my cosmetologist recommended it).

Collagen will make sure my skin will regenerate and get back where its supposed to go!

When it comes to my diet, I still eat very little. About 6 oz of food, maybe 8 if I eat incredibly slow taking breaks in between. But i still like to take in my nutrients in pure form. to be more precise i can only eat half of a banana. A lot of doctors suggest, for patients like me, to eat baby food without preservatives. Believe it or not it works. It satisfies you completely. However, my bariatric nutritionist, said i should make them myself. Take the fruit and blend them until it becomes baby food, and trust me, it tastes even better!

I am eating more whole foods now but still no rice, bread or pasta and very little potatoes, with the exception of sweet potatoes because of the difference in the high glycemic index. Sweet potatoes are healthier than regular potatoes. NO RED MEAT! Just poultry and pork. Eventually you will be able to eat red meat, but for now hold off until you can handle it a bit more.

12 Weeks Post-Op!

Hello everyone!! Tomorrow morning I will officially be 12 weeks post-op, 3 months exactly. It feels a little odd even. In total I have lost 47 pounds, which is almost half of my weight goal. My doctor says i am doing fantastic given the fact that it has only been 3 months and im supposed to loose 100 pounds in a year. He says that as long as i do my exercises I will be great. The gym is a daily thing for me and it will be for the rest of my life. But i like it. It makes me feel full of energy and like I'm really progressing. Each day week I can do more than the week before, and that is a really good feeling. I tried doing the Insanity workout with my brother-in-law and I almost fainted. LOL. ADVICE: DO NOT EXCEED YOURSELF BEYOND REPAIR! My butt was hurting for a total of two days and today it still hurts, so , three days. 

However, today the focus is not my derriere but GIRDLES! I finally received my colombian girdle. It took a total of 3 weeks to arrive and i have a week wearing it. This is the description for the model:

Super High Compression Controls Waist Line, Abdomen, & Hips. Helps reduce backaches. Abdomen Control, Back Support, Lower Tummy Support. Adjustable Straps, Lifts Bust. Strong Compression ExtraLayer Powernet. Recommended: Daily Use, Post-Lipo, Post-Partum, Tummy Tuck, Shaping Girdle. Mid-Thigh Length, Derriere Enhancer Laced Design. Frontal Zipper, Inside Eyelet Hooks Closure. Reduces and maintains the firmness on your waist line. Corrects and helps your posture. Enhances the gluteus, busts, and shapes your silhouette body.  Many women wear this garment on a daily basis to tone and instantly reduce cm's on their waste, hips and legs while in use. Open Crotch convenient for bathroom use.


The crotch part is hilarious just because one would not wear the girdle without underwear. Going commando on something you wear on a daily basis is NOT an advisable thing to do. The high compression controls help keep the muffins on check, improve your posture, and reduce backaches, which you will get. The adjustable straps make it more comfortable and yet it makes it hurt a little. At the end of the day you wil have marks on your shoulders and they will ache somewhat. RECOMMENDATION: Ladies, adjust your bra straps to fit you tightly because after you wear the girdle , your bra straps will feel loose. The opening at the crotch feels a little funny but its no biggie. Just make sure that you wear a belt with the pants that you'll wear on top of your girdle. Your pants will feel loose. 

Another recommendation: drink a lot of tea. It helps with the detox process and your skin will look and feel great. 

7 weeks post- op

7 weeks post-op, 40 pounds less and 2 sizes. I have gone from a size 18 in jeans (fitting very well and a tight in the waist) to a 14 stretch. In 7 weeks i have lost 40 pounds. I feel I have lost less weight than I was supposed to. 7 weeks is 49 days and i'm supposed to be loosing 1 pound a day. My doctor did tell me though that during the first 3 months there is this stopping process after loosing a significant amount of weight. No one knows why it happens, it just does.

However, I cant help but feel frustrated with the fact that I haven't lost 49 pounds. Although that would be  highly optimistic, It would also mean that i would have already lost 50 pounds, and I have as a goal to loose 100 pounds. My parents are a bit skeptical about me loosing 100 pounds or even having lost 40 pounds in such a short amount of time. My mother is worried it might have some consequences but my doctor ( the surgeon and my general doctor) says everything is fine. I am having general check-ups regularly so that he has a control of what is going on in my body.

For now, my general doctor has changed my vitamins. Instead of drinking Flinstone's vitamins with extra calcium, iron and vitamin D (I am highly iron and vitamin D deficient), I am drinking liquid vitamins, the kind you buy in GNC or the Vitamin Shoppe (it is disgusting!!!). Despite the fact that the bottle says "tastes great", it does not taste great. In fact it tastes similar to how a pill tastes when you happen to leave it a little longer in your mouth than your supposed to, which is not very pleasant. Aside from that, im still trying to assimilate food. I DO NOT eat rice, potatoes, yuca, yellow or green plantains, red meats,  (for those of you who know Dominican people, know these are essential to our regular diets) DEFINITELY NO SWEETS (although sometimes its really hard because I do have a soft spot for them), bacon (not even turkey or at least not yet), and bread (although the cooking books that I bought for Weight Loss Surgery patients says I can eat bread after 6-8 weeks, it depends on your nutritionist). It has definitely been hard. It has not been easy to block everything I have learned with my mother cooking dominican cuisine and having to learn this whole way of cooking.

As for what I am eating now...Well, protein is very important in my diet so I eat a lot of turkey, chicken, mainly ground because the turkey soaks the flavors of spices more and it makes eating the same foods less dreadful. I know there are some various options that I can eat because there is a wide range of poultry dishes I can do however, i have yet to lear hoe to modify them and still make them taste good. The side dishes are mainly salad and or vegetables. I also eat a lot of cheese, cottage, cheddar, mozzarella, all low fat, they still taste great. Today for example, I was going to try and doing a modified vegetable lasagna, without the pasta, instead of ground beef use ground turkey and vegetable tomato sauce, low fat, and low fat mozzarella. So, you learn how to play with the dishes and at the same time you learn how much you can and cannot eat. I am still working up to eating 8oz of food. Currently, I can only maybe eat 5 or 6 oz max.

The exercise is going well, although my exercise machine came broken and as a result I had to return it and keep going to my school gym, which is very good. I still haven't bought another exercise machine because I have noticed that all the good ones are very expensive so instead, I decided to keep going to my school gym and get signed up for planet fitness and go there.

On the personal side, lately my family has noticed that I am extremely sensitive. Apparently, I am getting overly dramatic and I'm crying all the time which is weird in me. If you know me personally you will know this is weird and odd and not normal, at least not or me. I am not a overly sensitive person and yet I am very irritable and touchy, to say the least. Also, again, I am a female, so guys if you are reading this, I apologize in advance for the next few lines. Ladies, my periods have become longer. My last two periods were of 8 and 12 days and they were painful. I could barely wear jeans, I was extremely bloated and had a very heavy flow. As a result, next week I will be attending a doctor's appointment to get a prescription for the pill. My doctor said he would do a hormone check to see which is more adequate for me. Also, next week is all about GIRDLES. But not just any kind of girdles, Colombian Post-surgical girdles. Stay tuned.

The first Month

After the first stage of liquids and non solid things comes the semi-solid stage. I can tell you with all honesty the food isn't the best...baby food is better. I was to eat creams, like brocoli cream, yam, yautia, cabbage,  lentil, green bean and regular beans. of course these were to be prepared with spices and all blended. The thing I was not aware of is that I had to include half a chicken breast (obviously cooked) inside the mix. The results are that, most likely than not, I have been under-eating. I have, however balanced it out with a Whey Protein. At first I was drinking the vanilla flavor but to be honest it made me nauseated and I couldn't stomach it. I wanted to throw-up half the time, instead of drinking the 8oz, I usually drank the thicker 4oz version and tried to drink it as soon as possible. When the drink finally finished I bought a another flavor that doesn't make me nauseated, the mixed berry. I've always been a berries kind of girl. this semi-solid stage lasts from the 1st week after your surgery to the 4th week after your surgery. I think this is the hardest stage because of how tired you get of the food. However other nutritionists may have more options for you. Mine just decided that I had to be disgusted half the time.

After the semi-solid stage comes the third and final stage where you learn how to eat for life. You will be allowed to eat the mushy food but also (everything you eat must be low fat or non-fat) greek yogurt and cottage cheese, non fat non sugar jello, cream cheese, non fat puddings (there are certain amount of carbs you need to eat in order to keep you healthy) vegetables and meats. The only meats you are allowed to eat are pork, chicken, turkey, basically every poultry and meat as long as its not red meat. The meat must be eaten in very little peaces. It can be cooked with your regular spices as long as you DO NOT use regular oil, or butter or sugar, always pam oil, butter flavored spray non fat oil and if you need to use butter, use butter substitutes as well as sugar substitutes (stevia and splenda are the best specially because there are various recipes available with the correct measurements).

Right now, I am in my 5th week after surgery and learning what i can and cannot eat. My current, as off this morning (February 7th 2012) is 206 pounds. I was 233 pounds on the day of my surgery. In total I have lost 27 pounds. It is still hard for me to want to eat or much less remember to eat so I keep a calendar on my phone to remind me when i have to eat and drink my protein. My exercise machine will be arriving today and I cant wait to start exercising and loose more weight and sizes. Wish me luck.

Bisous! Baisers!
The Gastric Sleeve Patient

The beginning of the journey

Hello everyone!!!

I had the Gastric sleeve surgery done at 21 years old. My operation was performed on January 4th, 2012. I was 237 pounds, the highest weight I have ever had,  and after three weeks and three days post-op, I know weigh 215 punds, 22 pounds less. It is currently January 28th, 2012, 7:21 pm and I am trying to figure out how on earth did it occur to me to write a blog. The truth is I have never done this before and the most "blogging" I've ever done has been Facebook, which is not much, so please go easy on me. So, history...

According to my parents, I was always a skinny child, at least until I was three years old. I suffered from chronic asthma, which meant I was in and out of the hospital, and that was on a good day. Otherwise, it was usually inside the hospital for a day or two. As a result of my condition, I was administered various regular dosis of steroids, the treatment at the time - I had no idea how it helped but supposedly it did. My mother had given me every dominican home remedy for asthma in existence, and i mean everything, to give you a preview, I even ate snake meat, but I don't remember any of that. My parents shipped me off to my grandma's in DR when I was three because NY temperature was a bit harsh on my health. My grandma also gave me every home remedy possible but at the same time she was very keen on keeping me extra well fed. She used to say that fat kids were the pretty kids and well she started to get me fat during the year I spent with her. I also stopped having asthma attacks. I was chubby all throughout my childhood. At the age of 12, I reached a weight of 193 pounds and I was put on a diet with a nutritionist. I lost 24 pounds with that nutritionist in 4 months. However, that same year, i got stones in my gallbladder, and after the surgery and my gallbladder was removed, I gained the weight back. I maintained myself for a few years in the 190's and then at 20 yrs old, my GYN told me to take contraceptives to regulate my cycle and I gained 20 pounds in 3 months.

After that it was really hard to loose weight because of my hormonal imbalance and anything made me gain more weight. I ended up at 230 pounds when i decided to do the operation, my BMI was 39.5, and i was a good candidate. I started investigating in October of 2011 whether it was better to have the operation in the States or in DR and It was determined that in DR was more convenient because it was half the money and better attentions.

The day of my operation I weighed 233 punds and the operation lasted 3 hours. I spent 2 days in the hospital under constant anesthesia, so there was no pain. I had a device that pumped anesthesia into my system for the 2 days stay at the hospital. During that time I ate nothing, only drank water the last day, 1 ounce every 15 minutes and that was the beginning of the first stage.